No matter where you are on the walk of life loneliness can show up. Maybe you went through a breakup, lost your partner, are a single parent, maybe you are surrounded by people but feel alone. Recently spent some time thinking and speaking about feeling alone. I do not feel alone most days but it used to consume me! Codependent, victim mentality, burnout and so on. You name it I felt it.
When I had my daughter young I knew I would have to work hard. The thing I did not know is how I’d feel at 30. Let me explain, I lost myself in my responsibilities. I didn’t go to college and try on jobs, I had to work and pay bills. I didn’t get to travel and date to discover what I wanted in a partner and in my life. I had the weight of motherhood on my shoulders before I even knew what becoming a woman meant. I had friends and support but I felt alone. No one in my life could relate to me and I was losing touch with my friends and worse, myself. The crazy thing is I didn’t even notice that I had lost myself, I was too busy to pay attention to me. I just figured I was alone and that I had to accept that.
Spoiler alert, I was wrong! I didn’t need to accept it, I needed to embrace it!
Let me paint you a picture.
You are traveling down a road with a tour guide when you turn to find they are gone. You find yourself alone and afraid not knowing your next move. What do you do? Sit and wait for someone to show up and tell you where to turn, or do you keep moving forward becoming your own guide?
Being alone is an opportunity to find your own way. No-one knows the best path for you except yourself. Take a moment to look around and see the beauty in where you are standing. Listen to your own voice and decide what is the next path to take. You never know, the community you seek might be around the next turn.
Do you see the mind-shift? You have to stop waiting to be found, instead it is time for you to find what it is that’s missing. After all How can you expect to be found if you have not yet found yourself?
This is not easy work, I worked hard on discovering my passions and desires. Along the way I made a few wrong turns, found the beauty in the place I was standing, and took another turn.
You don’t have to be a young mom to feel like you don’t know who you are, society makes it really easy for us to get lost in the day to day. I still feel alone sometimes but now I can embrace it and grow with it. You can do the same for yourself! I promise you others have been where you are and they do care. You will find your village when you start focusing on your own desires.
Do not confuse what I am saying. Feeling alone is a valid emotion and it is ok to feel it. What we want to do is feel our emotions without them consuming us. Shifting our mindset in order to move forward on our path rather than staying lost.
It is time to embrace where you stand today. If you are looking for resources my guided journal I Can Love Me is a great place to start. Take sometime to work on your mindset and self discovery.
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